food
Puns about food.
PizzaWhen my girlfriend dropped the last of the pizza, I was floored.ThesaurusWhat does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll.LeftoversI don't understand why waiters always want to box my leftovers. I'd rather eat them.Ice creamWhy is everyone afraid of ice cream? It gives them the chills.CandyAre you a candy bar? You're pretty sweet.TurkeyWhat's a turkey's favorite song? "All about that baste"RunnersWhat do professional runners eat before a race? Fast food.Eating UtensilsAn eating utensil with 4 prongs is a fork. If it only has 3 prongs, it's a threek.House BuildingWhat's a cow's least favorite material for building homes with? Cottage cheese.Uncle SamWhat is Uncle Sam's favorite snack? Fire-crackers!ZooI went to the zoo and saw an area with a bunch of loaves of bread in it. A sign above read "Bread in captivity."BreadWhy is bread so lazy? It just loafs around.PianistWhat's a pianist's favorite sandwich? A Tune-a Sandwich.CannibalWhat is a cannibal's favorite to-go food? Finger food.Shredding CheeseI always had issues shredding cheese. However, I have grater problems to deal with.Space RocksWhy was the space rock tastier than the earth rock? It's a little meatier.Teddy BearWhy doesn't a teddy bear eat cake on his birthday? He's stuffed.PickleThe pickle had a good birthday. She really relished it.No ArmsDid you hear about the guy with no arms and his sandwich? He didn't make it.CowboyIf you wear cowboy clothes on a farm, are you ranch dressing?WaffleWhat do you call a waffle lying on a beach in California? Sandy eggo.Steak v2For real though, with out steak, I'd have a cow.TortillasI didn't think they'd mind that I overcooked their tortilla, but they told me we needed to taco bout it.AssaltedWhen you add too much salt to your food, your taste buds become assalted.