All Puns
617 puns and counting.
Avid BowlerMy athletic friend's an avid bowler. I love that he's into pottery.Birthday CardsAfter my dad read his 50th birthday card, he stopped and said "just one would have been enough".Sad treesWhy was the weeping willow so close to the side of the road? It needed a shoulder to cry on.Working on the wallDoing construction work on walls used to be so freeing but I had to quit, I was feeling cornered.Cabinet CareerI had to quit my job at the cabinet manufacturer. It was very counter intuitive.A webpage walks into a barA web page walks into pub and sees a bunch of web browsers sitting at the bar. The web page walks up and asks "Hey you want to take a load of this?".…Fridge DoorYou should always knock first on the fridge door. Just in case you see the salad dressing.3d BurgerI created a fake hamburger in a 3d program. It looked amazing, probably because of all of the rendered fat.KingThe previous king was only a foot tall. He was a lousy king, but a great ruler.CursiveI started writing my name in cursive. It's my signature move.OrigamiI used to have a job making origami but the company foldedDad JokesI make a lot of dad jokes but not being a parent it's a real faux pa.WizardsWhat is it called when a wizard has his magical enchantments peer reviewed? Spell Check.CakesI practiced calligraphy then became a cake decorator. My handwriting was just icing on the cake.OptometristI used to work as an optometrist but I got fired because I lost focus.DoctorI used to be a doctor but I got fired because I lost my patience.Scuba DiverI used work as a professional scuba diver, but I couldn't handle the pressure.Dog NamesI named my dog Whiskey because he's a hard licker.LanceI don't have any friends named Lance, but I'm sure if I lived in medieval times, I'd have friends named Lance a Lot.SnipersI used to work as a nighttime sniper. My job was nice, but knowing how it would all turn out was always a shot in the dark.Helium FactoryI fired someone at the helium factory today. I couldn't stand being spoken to in that tone of voice.Bomb SquadI got fired from the bomb squad yesterday. It's a shame because I had a blast on my first day.PregancyPregnant women are the only real body builders.GhostWhat kind of street does a ghost like the best? A dead end.