All Puns
617 puns and counting.
Sad treesWhy was the weeping willow so close to the side of the road? It needed a shoulder to cry on.Working on the wallDoing construction work on walls used to be so freeing but I had to quit, I was feeling cornered.Cabinet CareerI had to quit my job at the cabinet manufacturer. It was very counter intuitive.A webpage walks into a barA web page walks into pub and sees a bunch of web browsers sitting at the bar. The web page walks up and asks "Hey you want to take a load of this?".…Fridge DoorYou should always knock first on the fridge door. Just in case you see the salad dressing.3d BurgerI created a fake hamburger in a 3d program. It looked amazing, probably because of all of the rendered fat.KingThe previous king was only a foot tall. He was a lousy king, but a great ruler.CursiveI started writing my name in cursive. It's my signature move.OrigamiI used to have a job making origami but the company foldedDad JokesI make a lot of dad jokes but not being a parent it's a real faux pa.WizardsWhat is it called when a wizard has his magical enchantments peer reviewed? Spell Check.CakesI practiced calligraphy then became a cake decorator. My handwriting was just icing on the cake.OptometristI used to work as an optometrist but I got fired because I lost focus.DoctorI used to be a doctor but I got fired because I lost my patience.Scuba DiverI used work as a professional scuba diver, but I couldn't handle the pressure.Dog NamesI named my dog Whiskey because he's a hard licker.LanceI don't have any friends named Lance, but I'm sure if I lived in medieval times, I'd have friends named Lance a Lot.SnipersI used to work as a nighttime sniper. My job was nice, but knowing how it would all turn out was always a shot in the dark.Helium FactoryI fired someone at the helium factory today. I couldn't stand being spoken to in that tone of voice.Bomb SquadI got fired from the bomb squad yesterday. It's a shame because I had a blast on my first day.PregancyPregnant women are the only real body builders.GhostWhat kind of street does a ghost like the best? A dead end.ExorcismIf you don't pay for your exorcism, will you be repossessed?Haunted HomesWhy did the haunted house dislike storms? Rain dampens its spirits.