food
Puns about food.
3d BurgerI created a fake hamburger in a 3d program. It looked amazing, probably because of all of the rendered fat.CowsWhat do you call a mean cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.ButterI lathered myself up in butter just to see what would happen. I went downhill pretty quickly after that.CowWhat do you call a cow with a sunburn? Roast beef.BeersThe baseball stadium announced giving away vaccines with the purchase of a hotdog. Who needs hotdog and a beer when you can have a hotdog and shot?RichI have a friend who's very rich. It's from all the fortune cookies they ate.BagelWhat kind of bagels fly? A plain bagel!Food ColoringI accidentally swallowed food coloring. The doctor says I'm fine but I feel like I'm dyeing inside.OrangesI tend to believe anything oranges say because they have a tang of truth to them.FriendsMy friends go with me when we try new foods. They're my taste buds.FarmersWhy do Farmers like dubstep? They love it when the beet drops.Waffle CarsMy waffle maker made tiny waffle cars. It's the only time I enjoyed a traffic jam.AstronautsWhen do astronauts eat? At launch time!Pork RoastWhen I'm sad, I like to make pork roast. This gives me a shoulder to cry on.PumpkinsWhy is it amazing that pumpkins are around on Halloween. They're usually flat from being squashed.BeefWhere does ground beef go to dance? The meatball!AppleWhat can a whole apple do that a half apple can't do? It can look round.HeavenWhat do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake.CookieWhy did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.ClocksWhat does a clock do when it's still hungry? It goes back four seconds.PiesA pie in the Bahamas costs about $4 per pie, but that's because they're stolen. That's the pie rate of the Caribbean.Cheese FactoryAn explosion at the cheese factory bleu up everything. De brie was everywhere. The cause was due to the old building. It was destroyed fromage. Shred…PizzaWhen my girlfriend dropped the last of the pizza, I was floored.LeftoversI don't understand why waiters always want to box my leftovers. I'd rather eat them.