Idiom taken literally
A figure of speech read at face value — "had a blast" on the bomb squad.
Scuba DiverI used work as a professional scuba diver, but I couldn't handle the pressure.Fence PostsWhy aren't fence posts any fun? They're all just a stick in the mud.Speed BumpsI was afraid of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it.Waffle CarsMy waffle maker made tiny waffle cars. It's the only time I enjoyed a traffic jam.ToothacheI told my dentist that I think I had a toothache. They told me it was all in my head.TelekineticMy friend was using their telekinetic powers to do math on an abacus. They offered me a turn but I declined. It's the thought that counts.MimesI got in an argument with a mime. He did some unspeakable things.ToiletsWhat do you say when you accidentally walk in on God on the toilet? "Holy crap!"StatuesGoing out of business as a statue artist is really hitting rock bottom.TimeSomeone finally told me my first 4th dimension joke today. It was about time.PilotI tried becoming a pilot, but that never got off the ground.SurgeonI got fired from being a surgeon. I couldn't cut it.Up hillI tried to go up hill but fell back down. The potential was there but it went down hill.The SunI'm always confused until someone sheds light on something. That's why without the sun, I'd be in the dark.GroundI used to be mad at the ground but I forgave them. It is all under me now.SwordsSwords were cutting edge when they were invented.Uncle SamWhat is Uncle Sam's favorite snack? Fire-crackers!The MoonHave you seen the scenery on the moon? It's out of this world.WaitersI hire waiters for all of my business meetings. They bring a lot to the table.StringA string walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The string walks out, torn about what happened. He becomes so upset…VodkaSomeone splashed vodka on me, which hurt because it was hard liquor.SunshineA day without sunshine is like, dark.Steering WheelI saw a pirate with a steering wheel on his pants and I brought it to his attention. He simply responded "Aye, it's driving me nuts!"That PersonThat person is booking it for the library!