All Puns
616 puns and counting.
ClownA clown held the door for me while walking into the store. It was a nice jester.UmbrellasI don't trust umbrellas. They're kind of shadyHorsePeople always tell me to get off my high horse. To that I say, neigh!BeerWhat do you call a giant ship built out of beer cans? A boose cruise.Piano storesWhy do skeletons like piano stores? It's where they buy their organs!JavaWhy wasn't the Java developer able to read any of their code? Because they didn't C#.CirclesThe ability to draw a perfect circle requires being well rounded.PilgrimsWhy didn't the Pilgrims wear hats for Thanksgiving? They had to loosen their buckles to make room for seconds!TurkeyWhat's a turkey's favorite song? "All about that baste"WishboneI fought my friend for the wishbone. We might have gone too far when things snapped.RomansWhat do you call a Roman warrior who is always happy? A gladiator.WindowBeing in the window repair business can be pane-full.TimeSomeone finally told me my first 4th dimension joke today. It was about time.FuneralsWorking in the funeral industry is a dying business.BatteryI recharged a battery I found in the garbage. It was re-volting.PlagiarismApparently I was accused of plagiarism. Their words, not mine.AcidWhat do you call an acid that's a jerk? Amino acid.RunnersWhat do professional runners eat before a race? Fast food.Black Eyed PeasWhat did the band the Black Eyed Peas say after going to the dentist? 🎶🎵 I've got a filling! 🎶🎵EncouragingWhat do you call an encouraging sith lord? A moti-Vader.WaterI tried emptying out water from a bottle as a joke. It was a pour attempt at humor.PhonesMy terrible cellphone reception is the worst at home. Bar none.BakerIf you knead dough, you could get a job as a baker.PilotI tried becoming a pilot, but that never got off the ground.