All Puns
617 puns and counting.
ToiletsWhat do you say when you accidentally walk in on God on the toilet? "Holy crap!"Garbage TruckDriving a garbage truck means you're a rubbish driver.GardenI suspected my neighbor would throw extra dirt in my garden. When I confronted them, they just shrugged. The plot thickens...PostcardsMy friend sent me a postcard with a pun on it. I didn't get it.IrelandIf the population of Ireland grew twice it's size, it would be Dublin in size.DinosaurWhat do you call a dinosaur that knows a lot of words? A Thesaurus.ThesaurusWhat does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll.PisaThe Tower of Pisa is considered minimalist art, it's very lean.SnowmanWhat happens when a snowman throws a temper tantrum? It has a meltdown.PhysicistMy physicist friend always tells inappropriate jokes about the 5th dimension. It's never the time or place.MorticianHow do morticians make money? They urn it.PrimeDying at the age of 101 would be dying at your prime.Window TreatmentsAs an interior designer, I tend to not look at what kind of window treatments I buy. I always buy blind.Quiet PeopleWhat shoes do quiet hide and seek champions wear? Sneakers.Lock PickingI got a career through learning lock picking. It's opened up so many doors.SteaksWhy don't they eat steaks on Star Wars? It's always Chewie.PainterWhat does a painter do when they get cold? Put on another coat.RanksWhat rank do you give someone with a cold? Hanker Chief.NegativeIs it easy being not negative? |Absolutely|!ColdWhat do you do when you get cold in your room? Stand in the corner because it's 90 degrees.Corona VirusMaking fun of the Corona virus is a sick joke.Hand SanitizerWith all the sales, the inventor of hand sanitizer must really be rubbing it in these days.Flu shotsPeople who don't get flu shots make me sick.StressThe flu can be just as stressful as COVID-19. It's just a different kind of strain.