All Puns
616 puns and counting.
PoliceWhy did the policeman smell bad? He was in the line of duty.Pumpkin CarverThe pumpkin carver is talented. They're very gourd at their job.Square RootI'm afraid of calculating the square root of 2. It's an irrational fear.SkeletonWhy didn't the skeleton show up to the party? He didn't have the guts.Chicken CoopsWhy do Chicken Coops only have 2 doors? If they had four doors, they'd be Chicken Sedans.CamouflageMy friend wanted to buy a camouflage jacket, but I couldn't see them wearing it.HipstersWhy did the hipster burn their lip while drinking tea? They drank it before it was cool.Military meetingsWhy was the general not wearing any pants? He was debriefed.Sheep in troubleI rode a sheep out of town when I was wanted by the cops. I was on the lamb.Not for TouchingDon't touch your eyes, they're only for looking.Digging HolesDigging holes is boring.ElephantMy friend moved into a new house, so I bought them an elephant for their room. They thanked me but I said "Don't mention it".Giant WhalesHow do you escape a giant whale after being eaten? You run until you're pooped out.Cost of GasI can't believe the prices of natural gases. Helium keeps going up!PonyI couldn't understand the pony. He was a little hoarse.WatchesI attached watches end to end to make a belt. It was a waist of time.VodkaSomeone splashed vodka on me, which hurt because it was hard liquor.SodaI got hit by a can of coke. It didn't hurt, it was a soft drink.Mood RingsI don't know how I feel about loosing my mood ring...ElectriciansElectricians are always stripping to make their living.RoyaltyWhat does the royal wall say when almost getting hit by a car while crossing the street in Brooklyn? "Hey I'm wallking here!"RecyclingThe worker at the recycling plant was sad. It was soda pressing.CashiersThe cashier at my favorite grocery store is always checking me out.ShapesMy teacher taught us hexagons today. I reported them because they were too edgy.