All Puns
616 puns and counting.
CoffeeCoffee isn't my cup of tea. Get this on a mugRoyal ToiletThe toilet in the poker addicted queen's bathroom has a deck of cards. There's always a royal flush. Get this pun on a shirt!Poop JokesPoop jokes aren't my favorite, but they are a solid number 2.SunshineA day without sunshine is like, dark.No ArmsDid you hear about the guy with no arms and his sandwich? He didn't make it.ShrimpWhat is it called when a shrimp kills another? A krilling spree!Guilty!I paid the judge a pile of hay to get out of jail. He accepted my bale payment.BoomerangA boomerang with computer RAM attached to it really brings back memories.MidgetThe midget never understood anything people said. I guess it went over their head.GunsI was asked if I wanted to try firing a shotgun. I guess I'll give it a shot.RollerbladesDid you hear about the guy who tried to buy rollerblades for $0.50? I guess you could say he was a cheapskate.PlantsYou can't plant seeds if you haven't botany.VacuumThis half clogged vacuum cleaner sucks.FeathersWhy did the feather, laying next to the brick, ignite? It was lighter.The dog zooI went to a zoo with all dogs. It was a shitzu.ApocalypsePeople keep making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.Steering WheelI saw a pirate with a steering wheel on his pants and I brought it to his attention. He simply responded "Aye, it's driving me nuts!"SnailMy snail was too slow, so I took the shell off to make him faster. All it did was make him sluggish.Boxers or briefsDo I prefer boxers or briefs? Depends.Brake FluidPeople told me that I'm addicted to drinking break fluid. I disagree. I can stop any time.AtomsDon't trust atoms, they make up everything.Stolen LampsThe guy who had every lamp in his house stolen was delighted when it happened.CoralWhen coral gets stressed out, they die. Their most stressing topic? Current events, though it comes in waves.BBQHave you ever tried cooking your meat over a nice, hot lava pit? I lava good BBQ.