All Puns
617 puns and counting.
BBQHave you ever tried cooking your meat over a nice, hot lava pit? I lava good BBQ.DoorsI got hit by someone with a door, following with "you're pretty cute". They literally hit on me. I guess they must a door me.ColorsThey say that no two people see colors the same way. Is color a pigment of your imagination?CowboyIf you wear cowboy clothes on a farm, are you ranch dressing?BoatsI started a business building boats. Sails are through the roof!In a Courtroom[In a courtroom] "I hereby find you guilty of click-bait and sentence you to the electric chair. What is about to happen next will shock you"Fish PreparationI'm going to teach you to cook. Lettuce begin. First you pick your fish for the halibut. Add some seasonings lightly, don't run out of thyme now!KitchenTo argue against a fact, I used a ruler in my kitchen as a counter measure.Orion's BeltFriend: "Orion's Belt is a big waist of stars." Me: "Terrible joke. Only 3 stars". https://twitter.com/techoglot/status/909537169995325441That PersonThat person is booking it for the library!Dogs staringImage of two tents across from each other, with a dog in each looking across from each other. The caption: "this is an in tents stare down"Not a bearImage: Picture of a Koala with the caption: "What do you mean I'm not a bear, I have all of the koalifications"BellsThe inventor of the knock knock joke received a no-bell-prize.ThirstWhere would you go, if you were thirsty for a carbonated drink, but not that thirsty? MinisodaSpongesCan you imagine how much deeper the ocean would be if it weren't for sponges?PencilsWhere do pencils go on vacation? Pencilvania.PastaI thought I knew what type of pasta I wanted, but there's just so many pastabilitiesNoodlesI used a large noodle costume to pose as someone else. Everyone knew I was impasta.FishDid you know groups of fish have school everyday of the week?AccoladesIf you hand someone mice as an accolade you are giving them preys.MintI put mint in my hot water. It's minty.ClockWhen does the clock win? When it's oneTraveling dogHow do dogs travel? By waggin'.Dog's TailWhere does the dog go when it loses its tail? The retail store.