All Puns
617 puns and counting.
SmokingSmoking weed is a joint effort.Todo listMy friend tried smoking my todo list. He was high on my priorities.Root beerIf you put root beer in a square glass, does it become beer?WaffleWhat do you call a waffle lying on a beach in California? Sandy eggo.Four WheelsWhat has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.BrownWhat's brown and sticky? A stick.BlueWhat is blue and doesn't weigh very much? Light blue.MetalAfter some trouble, I managed to barter for some raw metal. It was an ore deal.Steak v2For real though, with out steak, I'd have a cow.SteakI really wanted a rare steak, but the waiter said he couldn't find a steak made of unicorn.TortillasI didn't think they'd mind that I overcooked their tortilla, but they told me we needed to taco bout it.Tree QuestionsSomeone asked me a question about cutting down trees, but I was stumped. So I made up an answer on a limb.BigI tried to understand why the guy was so large, but he was ambiguousCornYou allergic to corn? No? Good I've got some corny jokes for you.Bone SpecialistI had a friend who adjusted bones for a living in Egypt. He was a Cairo-practor.Ant GendersDid you know that you can tell the gender of an ant by dropping it into water? If it sinks its girl ant, if it floats its boy ant.LampThe wise guy thought he'd fix things by turning on the lamp without a bulb. It wasn't very bright.TeaDoes drinking fresh tea come at a steep price?Mulan"Mulan! How many enemies are on that ridge?" "I'm not sure... about a hun-dred?"PubMy computer has an interstellar pub, it's a space bar.Walt Disney"Walt, which part of your leg is hurting?" Walt points to left kneecap "Dis knee."CastlesWhat do you say to someone trying to enter the Beast's castle? Ring the door, Belle.Ariel's FatherWhat did Ariel's father say when he was convincing people to do stuff? Try-tons.Under the SeaHow can the Little Mermaid avoid all her problems under the sea? Go aerial.