one liner
Puns about one liner.
FuneralsWorking in the funeral industry is a dying business.BatteryI recharged a battery I found in the garbage. It was re-volting.PlagiarismApparently I was accused of plagiarism. Their words, not mine.AcidWhat do you call an acid that's a jerk? Amino acid.RunnersWhat do professional runners eat before a race? Fast food.Black Eyed PeasWhat did the band the Black Eyed Peas say after going to the dentist? 🎶🎵 I've got a filling! 🎶🎵EncouragingWhat do you call an encouraging sith lord? A moti-Vader.WaterI tried emptying out water from a bottle as a joke. It was a pour attempt at humor.PhonesMy terrible cellphone reception is the worst at home. Bar none.BakerIf you knead dough, you could get a job as a baker.PilotI tried becoming a pilot, but that never got off the ground.LampIf someone is unhappy just throw a lamp at them to get them to lighten up.BodybuilderI attempted to be a body builder, I just wasn't a good fit. It didn't work out.CementInventing cement really paved the way we build things and I have mixed feeling about that.ElectricianI found a passion working as an electrician, which was shocking.ComedianThey all laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, nobody's laughing now!GeologyGeology rocks!ClairvoyantI got fired from my job as a clairvoyant. I didn't see it coming!MirrorsUnsure of my future, I considered making mirrors for a living. That's something I can see myself doing.HistorianI used to work as a historian, I just couldn't see a future with it.Paper MacheI tried to construct my favorite forest animal from paper mache but required a lot of help. I bearly made it.SurgeonI got fired from being a surgeon. I couldn't cut it.DoctorI tried being a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.Smart PhonesThe newest smart phones, with screens that cover almost all of the front, are really top notch!