All Puns
616 puns and counting.
PianoWhat happens when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A-flat miner.BeethovenWhy doesn't Beethoven like chickens? All they ask for is "Bach, Bach Bach"Cow MusicianWhat do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument? A Moo-sician.Singing CowsWhat key do cows sing? Beef flat.MoneyWhy were the thieves putting their stolen cash with their dirty clothes at the laundry cleaners? They thought that's how you launder money.SundialsSundials can only be used by male children. If female children used them they'd be called daughterdials.StutterWhy is it a bad thing for people with stutters to go to prison? They can never finish a sentence.DogsWhat's the best way to teach a dog to shake hands? Pawsitive reinforcement.UrineUrine is gender fluid.BreadA friend was pulling around a loaf of bread on a leash. "Nice dog!" I exclaimed. "Thanks", said my friend "It's a pure-bread."ZooI went to the zoo and saw an area with a bunch of loaves of bread in it. A sign above read "Bread in captivity."BreadWhy is bread so lazy? It just loafs around.The MoonHave you seen the scenery on the moon? It's out of this world.ArguingNever try to argue with a guitarist. They always strike a chord.RomanA Roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers and says "I'd like five beers please."TermiteA termite walks into a bar and asks "Is the bar tender here?"WaitersI hire waiters for all of my business meetings. They bring a lot to the table.WallThere is a joke about a tall wall, but you won't get it, it just goes over your head. I'm still trying to get over it.MountaineerDon't ever become friends with a mountaineer. Things tend to get rocky. It's a rough relationship to say the least.Construction WorkerA person was building the frame house when their boss came by and told them how to properly build it. It was constructive criticism.Construction WorkerA construction worker was taken to court by his boss for putting his hands in wet pavement. His boss won because he had concrete evidence. It really…StringA string walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The string walks out, torn about what happened. He becomes so upset…House BoatsMy best friend lived in the house boat next door. We eventually drifted apart though.CowA cow that can't produce milk is an udder failure.