All Puns
617 puns and counting.
Financial AdvisorI thought about being a financial advisor. With my background in money, it makes a lot of cents.Pun StorageI store all my dad jokes in a dad-a-base.ComputersWhat does a newborn computer call its father? Data.PenguinsPenguins don't like visiting Great Britain because they're afraid of WalesSodiumI was trying to think of a sodium joke, but Na, I couldn't think of one.Cheese FactoryAn explosion at the cheese factory bleu up everything. De brie was everywhere. The cause was due to the old building. It was destroyed fromage. Shred…ATMsIf time is money, aren't ATMs time machines?PizzaWhen my girlfriend dropped the last of the pizza, I was floored.GeologyGeology rocks, but geography is where it's at.PostureI am fairly accurate at guessing if you have bad posture. It's always based on a hunch.DirtWhat do you call a donkey that rolls around hauling dirt? wheelburro.KeyboardsI got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I wasn't putting in enough shifts.LibrariesA librarian was helping a pregnant lady check out books. The librarian asked the pregnant lady when she was due. The pregnant lady said that her baby…TreesHow do trees get on the internet? They log on.MimesI got in an argument with a mime. He did some unspeakable things.ChemistsWhat happens when a chemist passes away? You barium.ChairsMost chairs are satin.CarsWhen do cars stop being cars? When they turn into a driveway.LionsWhy can't lions ever be humble? They don't want to swallow their pride.CowWhat do you call a cow that's been shot? Holy cow!StocksI an avid investor in stocks. Chicken and beef are my forte. I have enough stocks to be considered a bouillionaire.TombstoneWhat is the kind of news you read from a tombstone? Grave news.FrisbeeWhat do you call a broken frisbee? A friswas.Hide and go SeekI tried becoming a recruiter for a hide and go seek league, but good players are hard to find.