money
Puns about money.
Home valuationI live next to a coin manufacturing plant. My house is valuable because it’s near mint!RichI have a friend who's very rich. It's from all the fortune cookies they ate.Karl MarxWhy did Karl Marx fail his grammar class in school? He couldn't capitalize.CabinetsI'll never sell things to cabinet makers. They're all counter fitters.Art DealerHow can art dealers afford their rent? With Monet.Female DeersWhy did the female deer need to take out a loan? She wanted a few bucks.CoinI tried to solve a problem by flipping a coin, but it was a toss-up.MoneyMy friend makes a million dollars a day. He works at the mint.Future tellerWhy do future seers always have a lot of money? It's all about the profit.PiesA pie in the Bahamas costs about $4 per pie, but that's because they're stolen. That's the pie rate of the Caribbean.Financial AdvisorI thought about being a financial advisor. With my background in money, it makes a lot of cents.ATMsIf time is money, aren't ATMs time machines?StocksI an avid investor in stocks. Chicken and beef are my forte. I have enough stocks to be considered a bouillionaire.MorticianHow do morticians make money? They urn it.BakerIf you knead dough, you could get a job as a baker.MoneyWhy were the thieves putting their stolen cash with their dirty clothes at the laundry cleaners? They thought that's how you launder money.Bank TellerWhy did the bank teller push over an old lady? Because she wanted to check her balance.RiverWhy was river rich? It had many banksBankI got fired from the bank because I lost interest in my work.