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Cross Eyed PeopleDavid8 July 2019Why do people with crossed eyes have difficulty keeping relationships? They can't help seeing other people on the side.BalloonsDavid6 July 2019What's a balloon's least favorite music genre? Pop music.PianoDavid5 July 2019What happens when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A-flat miner.BeethovenDavid4 July 2019Why doesn't Beethoven like chickens? All they ask for is "Bach, Bach Bach"Cow MusicianDavid3 July 2019What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument? A Moo-sician.Singing CowsDavid2 July 2019What key do cows sing? Beef flat.MoneyDavid22 June 2019Why were the thieves putting their stolen cash with their dirty clothes at the laundry cleaners? They thought that's how you launder money.StutterDavid11 June 2019Why is it a bad thing for people with stutters to go to prison? They can never finish a sentence.DogsDavid10 June 2019What's the best way to teach a dog to shake hands? Pawsitive reinforcement.BreadDavid6 June 2019Why is bread so lazy? It just loafs around.The MoonDavid2 June 2019Have you seen the scenery on the moon? It's out of this world.Bank TellerDavid22 May 2019Why did the bank teller push over an old lady? Because she wanted to check her balance.AntsDavid17 May 2019Why don't ants get sick? They have little anty bodies.PianistDavid12 April 2019What's a pianist's favorite sandwich? A Tune-a Sandwich.RiverDavid15 March 2019Why was river rich? It had many banksPirated CornDavid11 March 2019How much do pirates pay for corn? A buck n ear.BritainDavid22 January 2019If Britain left the EU, how much space would be freed up? 1 GB.PilotsDavid13 January 2019Why did the airplane pilot fail to land safely? He learned to fly by taking a crash course.WandersDavid12 January 2019Why were the traveling wanderers always happy? They were nomads.PaintersDavid23 December 2018Why is painting a dangerous hobby? You have a lot of strokes.Holy WaterDavid19 December 2018How do you create holy water? You boil the hell out of it.AntsDavid19 December 2018Are ants with male genitalia called uncles?LibraryDavid18 December 2018Why didn't the library that converted to a hotel every succeed? They were booked.CannibalDavid5 December 2018What is a cannibal's favorite to-go food? Finger food.