All Puns
617 puns and counting.
Future tellerWhy do future seers always have a lot of money? It's all about the profit.Smoke ShopI went to a smoke shop only to find it was replaced by an apparel store. Clothes, but no cigar.BeefWhere does ground beef go to dance? The meatball!ParentsWhat super power do parents have? Supervision.ChickenI put a facemask on a chicken to protect it from COVID-19. It isn't perfect, but it fits the bill.MountainsMountains aren't just funny. They're hill-areas.HeadstoneMaking a typo on a headstone could be a grave mistake.LinguistsWhat are a linguist's favorite shoe to wear? Converse.TeethWhy do you only get photos of teeth after a meal? That's the only time you get tooth pics!CloudsHow do clouds alleviate an itch? They find the nearest sky scraper.Best Time6:30 is the best time on the clock. Hands down.AppleWhat can a whole apple do that a half apple can't do? It can look round.Gate BuildersWhy don’t gate builders have any enemies? Because they always mend fences.Quick sandI've got a sinking feeling that I'm in quick sand...BooksDo you know how a book gets to be so think? It’s a long story.SQLA SQL query walks into a bar, approaches 2 tables, and asks "Can I join you?"HeavenWhat do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake.ElevatorsMy first time in an elevator was an uplifting experience. The second time, it really let me down.CowsWhy don't you see many cows working at leather factories? That's just how cows hide.DalmatianI wonder when the very first Dalmatian was spotted?CookieWhy did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.AlligatorsHow do you treat a sick alligator? By giving it gator-aid.VelcroI never wear Velcro shoes. They're a rip-off.BoatsWhy do boats float? They give into pier pressure.